I don't really know how to tell you this, but The rainbow hedgehogs want to destroy you. I think I realized it when When I quoted Forrest Gump outside of your office and I saw you drive over My salt-beef bucket . I'm sure you're Frostbitten enough to understand That Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning Our matching snoopy underwear to you, but I'll keep Your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I Told my psychiatrist about the bruises and You ruined my attempts at another world war..
Go milk a cow,
-Shadow how to do this
Dear (choose a random person, or tag an unfortunate soul), I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it when (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7) .I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).(12),(Your name)1) WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR SHIRT?Blue - I'm in love with your catRed - Our affair is overWhite - The rainbow hedgehogs want to destroy youBlack -Our romance is overGreen- Our socks don't matchGrey - You're a leprechaunYellow - I'm selling myself for candyPink - Your nostrils are insultingBrown - The mafia wants youNo shirt - I'm joining the ConventOther -I dislike your eyelashes2) WHICH IS YOUR BIRTH MONTH?January - That night you picked your noseFebruary -When I quoted Forrest GumpMarch - When your dwarf bit meApril - When I tripped on NutellaMay - When I threw up in your sock drawerJune - When you put cuffs on meJuly – When I saw the purple monkeyAugust - When you smacked my assSeptember - When we skinny dipped in the bathtubOctober -Last year when you peed your pantsNovember - When your dog humped my legDecember - When I finally changed my underwear3) WHICH FOOD DO YOU PREFER?Tacos - As you were eating Kraft DinnerChicken- In your carPasta - Outside of your officeHamburgers - Under the busSalad – In your apartmentLasagna - In your closetKebab - With Jean ChrétienSeafood - In a clown suitSandwiches - At the Elton John concertPizza - At the mental hospitalHot dog - Under a street lightAnnat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper4) WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR SOCKS?Yellow - IgnoreRed - Put whipped cream onBlack - Hit onBlue - Knock outPurple - Pour syrup onWhite - Carve your initials intoGrey - Pull the clothes offBrown - bit ofOrange - CastratePink - Pull the pants off ofBarefoot - Sit onOther - Drive over5) WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR UNDERWEAR?Black - My boyfriendWhite - My fatherGrey – The Catholic PriestBrown – The Montreal Canadiens' goaliePurple - My corned beef hashRed – My knee capsBlue - My salt-beef bucketYellow - My illegitimate child in GhanaOrange - My Blink 182 CDPink – Your "My Little Pony" collectionOther - The elephant in the corner6) WHAT DO YOU PREFER TO WATCH ON TV?One Tree Hill - SenileHeroes- FrostbittenLost - HighSimpsons- CowardlyThe news - ScarredAmerican Idol - MasochisticFamily Guy - OpenTop Model - Middle-classAnnat -shamedHouse- Sterile7) YOUR MOOD RIGHT NOW?Happy - How awful you areSad - How boring you areBored - That I get turned on only by my the garbage manAngry - That your smell makes me vomitDepressed – That we're relatedExcited - That I may pee my pantsNervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on youWorried - That your Ford sucksApathetic - That you need a sex-changeSilly - That I'm allergic to your earlobesCuddly - That Santa doesn't existAshamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kidOther - That your driving sucks8) WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR WALLS IN YOUR BEDROOM?White - Our matching snoopy underwearYellow - Your love letters to meRed - The pictures from VegasBlack - Your pet rockBlue - The couch cushionsGreen - Your carOrange - Your false teethBrown - Your nose hair clippersGrey - Your toe ringPurple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanketPink - The cut toenails9) THE FIRST LETTER OF YOUR FIRST NAME?A/B - Your collection of butterfliesC/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on itE/F - Your neighbors dogG/H - The oil tank from your carI/J - Your left earK/L - The results of that blood-sampleM/N - Your glass eyeO/P - My common senseQ/R - Your momS/T - Your virginityU/V - Your criminal recordW/X – Your sucide noteY/Z - Your credit cards10) THE FIRST LETTER IN YOUR LAST NAME?A/B - Get sick when I think of your feetC/D - Always will remember the pep talksE/F -Never will forget that nightG/H – Will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard.I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantlyK/L - Hate your cookingM/N - Love your sweet, sweet assO/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruisesQ/R - Always wanted to break your legsS/T -Told in my confession today about the moose poachingU/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heartW/X - Haven't showered in a monthY/Z – am better off without you11) WHAT DO YOU PREFER TO DRINK?Wine- Our friendship is ruinedSoft drink – I love OprahMilk - The apartment building is on fireWater – I'm scratching my butt as you read thisCider– I have a passionate interest for miceJuice – You ruined my attempts at another world war.Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked outHot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weirdWhiskey - I'm off to lead a new life as a lemonBeer – Thanks for the CocaineOther – you should stop picking your nose12) TO WHICH COUNTRY WOULD YOU PREFER TO GO ON A VACATION?Thailand – Warm tingly sensationsFrance - Love alwaysSpain - With tears of sadnessChina – You make me sickGermany – Please don't hurt meJapan - Go milk a cowGreece - Your everlasting enemyUSA - Best of luck on the sex changeEgypt – Kiss my buttEngland - Go drown yourself